Soap Suds

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I cleaned the tub today.

Now I know that’s not exactly news worthy.

But you know in the movies when they show someone in the bathtub

And they’re sitting in about four feet of bubbles?

And there’s bubbles all the way up to their neck?

And the bubbles are really stiff and sturdy?

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Well that’s kind of the what I had going on today.

Only not on purpose.

You see, I’d gotten sucked in by one of those ads that say ‘clean your tub with dishwashing liquid’

And I thought that sounded like a good idea.

The picture in the ad showed a bathtub covered with a bunch of squirts of blue dish soap.

So I took my Dawn dish soap and squirted back and forth, back and forth

All over the bottom of my tub

About a dozen times.

Then I took a scrub brush and brushed it around so the bottom of the tub was totally covered in blue soap.

‘That should do it’ I thought.

Then I let it sit for about an hour to work its magic…

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So, right about now is probably a good time to explain to you about soft water.

Now, our water here in So Cal is really hard.

It’s so hard, you can barely shave your legs with it.

You can barely get up enough lather with it to wash your hair

And the dishes come out of the dishwasher so spotted you can’t even see through the glasses.

So we have to soften the water

And the thing about soft water is

You can really get a lather!

It makes the soap, soapier

And sudsier

(If you know, you know)

So there I am with all this Dawn soap in the bottom of my tub and I’ve scrubbed it all clean

And now all I have to do is rinse and I’m done.

So I turn on the faucet…

Think Scrubbing Bubbles meets the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

I had soap suds on steroids.

The more I rinsed, the more it multiplied.

And I could not get it to go down the drain.

And the bubbles that actually made it down the drain??

They came pouring back in from the overflow!

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So of course I grabbed my phone and googled ‘how to get rid of soap suds’.

And this is what I found:

Tip # 1

Sprinkle salt on the bubbles

Okay, so I’m going to have to sneak into the kitchen to get the salt. (I’m sneaking because the last thing I want to do is explain what I’m doing with salt in the bathroom. If you know, you know)

So I’ve gone undetected and now I’ve got the salt

And I sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle…

Now, maybe I didn’t use enough

Or maybe Kosher salt doesn't work like regular salt

Or maybe my soft-water soap suds didn’t get the memo that they’re supposed to deflate when the salt hits them but this was a no go.

So on to…

Tip #2

Pour white vinegar on the bubbles

Now I have to sneak back into the kitchen and exchange the salt for the vinegar.

Not much help from that either —

Now it just smells like I’m making a salad in the bathtub.

So it’s on to…

Tip #3

Use hair conditioner on the bubbles

Now I have to sneak into the other bathroom and get the conditioner.

Of course, I shouldn’t have to sneak this time since I might not be questioned about why I’m taking conditioner into the bathroom

But I would have to explain why I had the Suave conditioner and not my $19.00 conditioner…

Trust me, it’s easier just to sneak.

So I’ve got the (Suave) conditioner.

And I squirt about a quarter of a cup on the soap suds.

And then I poured on a little more

And I swished it around

And wouldn't you know??

That was the magic

That made all those soap suds just slip right down the drain!

Oh, and the tub??

Sparkling clean!

Thank you very much…

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